


it's just cherries, cherries

by harperuth



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Swearing, allspark nonsense, perhaps not quite crack but it's very silly, starop if you squint and i'm squinting okay, tfa op is tired all the time and i admire that in a mech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22899289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harperuth/pseuds/harperuth
Summary: A groan rose up from somewhere near his left thruster, “Seriously. Fuck the Allspark.”
Relationships: Optimus Prime/Starscream
Comments: 27
Kudos: 162





	it's just cherries, cherries

**Author's Note:**

> i was rereading some of my fav starop fics and i got hit by the thought of tfa starop like a train. 
> 
> title is from (fuck a) silver lining by patd

Starscream hovered over the paltry ‘battlefield’, defense protocols tracking the Autobots more than his optics were. Immortality had gotten old fairly fast, when he was still stuck on this awful little mudball, and goading Megatron into killing him had gotten old even faster.

He lifted an arm and took a potshot at the little yellow one, crumbling the pavement in front of it and sending it aft over bumper through the air. It didn’t even attempt to transform and roll into the collision with the ground. What was the point?

He disengaged his thrusters, letting himself sink to the ground, “Frag the slaggin’ Allspark right back to the fraggin’ pits.”

A groan rose up from somewhere near his left thruster, “Seriously. Fuck the Allspark.”

Starscream jumped, whirling around. There was...no one there. He considered the empty space for a klik. He looked down. 

The Autobot leader lay on the ground next to him. Starscream shuttered his optics, “Are you allowed to say that?”

“Are you allowed to kill people and destroy half of Detroit?”

Starscream shuttered his optics again, peering a little more closely, “I— That’s different.”

“Well, fuck me I guess,” The Autobot threw a servo in the air, letting it crash back down to the road.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the noble protector of the Allspark and all that nonsene?” Starscream wasn’t sure why he was still talking to the Autobot. He didn’t even know its _name_.

The Autobot scoffed, “The Allspark doesn’t need my protection at this point. Fuck, who’s protecting _me_ from the Allspark’s bullshit? Huh? Where’s _my_ protection?”

“You talk like the fleshlings,” Starscream crouched down and inspected the Autobot. There didn’t appear to be anything wrong with it. It was just...lying in the middle of the street. Right next to Starscream.

“When in Rome,” The Autobot listlessly tossed a servo again. This one crashed down onto it’s face. It didn’t move it.

“Are you—” Starscream inched closer, “Is your— Are you _alright_?”

Blazing blue optics peered out from behind its servo, “Fuck you.”

Starscream sat down.

“Oh fuck off,” The Autobot didn’t move.

Starscream reached out a digit and poked the Autobot’s servo away from its face, “What’s your name?”

“There are maybe ten Cybertronians on this whole planet, and you don’t know my name,” It didn’t sound any angrier, just that same defeated tone that Starscream was horrified to find he was _relating to_. Ugh. He wondered if the Allspark was starting to slag up his emotional circuitry.

“Like you can tell me the name of the foreman of the Tetrus IX mining operation,” Starscream rolled his optics.

“You know,” The Autobot stared up at the sky, “Any other day and I’d be thrilled about the intel, but right now it’s doing nothing for me. Optimus.”

Starscream stared down at the strange Autobot. Optimus, “I wasn’t trying to do anything for you.”

“Oh, I’m well fucking aware,” Optimus laughed, but it was hollow. Starscream was feeling more and more off balance, “Thank you, really, for coming through and fucking up the overpass that we just finished fixing last week. I’m just— Primus, I’m so excited to do that all again.”

“Well maybe you grounders should stay on the ground where you _belong_ ,” Starscream sniffed. Overpass. Ridiculous waving bits of concrete in the sky. They weren’t even _pretty_.

“Well shit Starscream, why didn’t I think of that?”

“You’re very strange,” Starscream observed.

“Don’t I have team members that are supposed to be shooting at you?” Optimus didn’t even bother sitting up to look. 

“The little yellow one crashed, I think the medic and the green one are taking care of him,” Starscream frowned, “Is there another one?”

“He’s not talking to me,” Optimus didn’t seem too concerned by this, “He probably left.”

“Ah,” Starscream mulled this over, “You aren’t very good Autobots.”

“Fuck you,” Optimus hummed again, but still didn’t seem particularly angry or bothered.

“Did you glitch your processor?” Starscream propped his chin on his servo, elbow on his knee, continuing to watch the Autobot stare at the sky.

“Yes,” Optimus deadpanned, “It onlined one day.”

Starscream giggled despite himself. Optimus finally looked back at him again, helm tipping over sideways and leaving the two of them in the laziest staring contest ever. Starscream cycled his optics.

“Ha,” Optimus huffed, “I win.”

“I didn’t shutter anything,” Starscream objected.

“Cycling counts,” Optimus’ mouth lifted minutely at the corner, “Humans said so.”

“We weren’t even competing,” Starscream sniffed.

“Tell yourself that,” Optimus kept his optics on him though, rather than moving them back up to the sky. Starscream didn’t flick his wings out, definitely not. Who was even here for him to impress? 

“Why are you sitting on the ground?”

“Why are you _laying_ on the ground?” Starscream countered.

“I asked you first,” Optimus’ mouth ticked up, just barely, once more. Starscream certainly wasn’t watching it.

“Transitive reasoning,” Starscream ignored the feeling of his own mouth ticking up, “I am sitting on the ground because you are laying on the ground, ergo…”

Optimus groaned, “Fucking _ergo_ , you bastard.”

“Well?” Starscream didn’t cycle his optics this time, staring the Autobot down. He wasn’t impressed by Optimus at all. There definitely wasn’t amusement cycling in his spark.

“I don’t think I need a reason,” Optimus said, sounding _lofty_ of all things. Starscream couldn’t help it, he burst into laughter.

“Oh Primus,” Starscream reset his vocalizer, the dozenth or so reanimation making it tender. Megatron had a habit of neck-based homicides, “Thank you, Autobot. I needed that.”

“You’re welcome,” Optimus said, magnanimously enough.

Starscream wrenched his optics away as a blaster bolt clipped his wing. He flicked the next one away in annoyance. The Autobots didn’t even have their blasters turned up far enough to singe his plating. He sighed again, “I suppose I should go.”

“Okay,” Optimus shrugged, and when Starscream glanced back at him, he was still just staring.

“I also suppose I’ll leave the overpass alone as I go,” Starscream muttered, getting to his feet.

“Don’t go all soft just for little ol’ me,” Optimus rolled his optics, following Starscream’s face as he moved. 

Starscream narrowed his optics, leaning back over Optimus, “I got you with a nullray didn’t I?”

He felt a blaster shot ping across his aft. Great.

Optimus narrowed his own optics right back, “It’s entirely possible I can’t move my legs right now.”

Starscream laughed, long and loud again, “Goodbye, little Autobot.”

“Fuck off Starscream.”

**Author's Note:**

> pls come yell at me about starop on twitter @floralpunkcfb


End file.
